My husband and I try to get together once a month and have a finance 'date'. We talk about our finances, where we are, our goals, and keep each other motivated and on track to complete the goals we have together. Of course, we don't always make it once a month, but we finally had a finance date a few weeks ago. At the meeting before I thought we had set some concrete goals and mapped out a plan, so that was what I had been working on. At our most recent meeting, I learned that was not the case.
It seems I pushed my own goals and values on my husband and he agreed only to make me happy. I learned he wasn't 100% on board and that I hadn't listened to him.
I did much better at our most recent meeting. I listened to him, discovered his goals and we worked together to come up with a new plan. We are communicating more (and better) since then and I am so glad that we got together.
It turned in to much more than just a financial date. I learned so much more about him, myself and our relationship. Not all of the meeting was pretty, there was the occasional raised voice (it was mine, I admit it), but by the end were were closer and are now working together.
I am so lucky to have a patient, kind and loving huband. I want him to know how much he means to me and that his dreams are important to me too. I hope that I will be able to show him through word and deed how I feel. Communication is so necessary to a healthy relationship and it's not something that I am really good at. So, I will continue working on my communication skills!
We've already planned our next date and I think it will be great!
Showing posts with label Destination 3. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Destination 3. Show all posts
Monday, July 12, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Vacation
You know what they say...hindsight is 20/20. I recently went on a much needed week-long vacation. It was wonderful and I had a great time, but now that I'm home I realize how many opportunities I missed to focus on my goals. Let me share with you what I did and did not do so you can learn from my mistakes!
I did not eat healthy and I could have. My excuse was "I'm on vacation and I am going to indulge myself." Now don't get me wrong, it is perfectly acceptable to indulge yourself on vacation, but don't let your common sense fly out the window...use good judgement! Moderation is key. Looking back on it, I am most ashamed of not eating better because it was so easy to make good food choices. Many menus had low calorie options that I just turned my nose at. Oh self, so young, so foolish. If you - like me - simply must have Chocolate Melting Cake every night for dessert, do it, but get one of the 390 calorie entrees!
I did not practice any instruments. I really don't feel guilty about this. Who takes their piano on vacation?! If I had a more portable talent - say writing or drawing - I could have done that by bringing a pad of paper and a pencil. So, if you can take your goal with you do it, but if you can't don't feel bad. After all....you're on vacation!
I did not work on any music theory. This is another goal that I feel bad about not doing, because I took my theory book with me! I just didn't open it. There were many hours spent in the car that I could have pulled this out and worked on it. I could have done much better here. If you do take your goals with you, make sure you do it!
However, I did do a lot of walking. I did not take advantage of the gym that was available, so again improvements to my vacationing self are needed, but I am happy with what I did accomplish.
Most importantly I spent a lot of time with my husband. This is the goal that I most want to excel in. Despite all my failings this past week I have succeeded overall, because I was able to be with him with no pressure to keep the house clean, dinner on the table and no work concerns stealing my focus from him. We had many conversations and talked to each other a lot. He also shared a podcast (Stuff You Should Know) that he really enjoys with me. I learned something new about him, and we both got to enjoy listening to several old podcasts he had on his Zune. Sharing something you enjoy or are passionate about with your spouse is a wonderful way to bond and grow together.
You do not need to accomplish everything everyday or even most things most days. If you only accomplish one thing a week you have succeeded.
What tips and tricks for success do you have while vacationing?
I did not eat healthy and I could have. My excuse was "I'm on vacation and I am going to indulge myself." Now don't get me wrong, it is perfectly acceptable to indulge yourself on vacation, but don't let your common sense fly out the window...use good judgement! Moderation is key. Looking back on it, I am most ashamed of not eating better because it was so easy to make good food choices. Many menus had low calorie options that I just turned my nose at. Oh self, so young, so foolish. If you - like me - simply must have Chocolate Melting Cake every night for dessert, do it, but get one of the 390 calorie entrees!
I did not practice any instruments. I really don't feel guilty about this. Who takes their piano on vacation?! If I had a more portable talent - say writing or drawing - I could have done that by bringing a pad of paper and a pencil. So, if you can take your goal with you do it, but if you can't don't feel bad. After all....you're on vacation!
I did not work on any music theory. This is another goal that I feel bad about not doing, because I took my theory book with me! I just didn't open it. There were many hours spent in the car that I could have pulled this out and worked on it. I could have done much better here. If you do take your goals with you, make sure you do it!
However, I did do a lot of walking. I did not take advantage of the gym that was available, so again improvements to my vacationing self are needed, but I am happy with what I did accomplish.
Most importantly I spent a lot of time with my husband. This is the goal that I most want to excel in. Despite all my failings this past week I have succeeded overall, because I was able to be with him with no pressure to keep the house clean, dinner on the table and no work concerns stealing my focus from him. We had many conversations and talked to each other a lot. He also shared a podcast (Stuff You Should Know) that he really enjoys with me. I learned something new about him, and we both got to enjoy listening to several old podcasts he had on his Zune. Sharing something you enjoy or are passionate about with your spouse is a wonderful way to bond and grow together.
You do not need to accomplish everything everyday or even most things most days. If you only accomplish one thing a week you have succeeded.
What tips and tricks for success do you have while vacationing?
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Volunteering
A few weeks ago I wrote down a few places I was interested in volunteering. Eventually I whittled down my list to one - I want to volunteer in the Emergency Room at the local hospital. However, since that decision was made, my mom asked me to help her with a large scrapbooking project.
I've decided that for now I will use the time I'm helping my mom as my volunteer time. Additionally, once this project is over, I'll already have this time carved out of my schedule. Transitioning from one project (helping my mom) to another (the hospital) will be pretty seamless - time wise at least.
So far we have been through 3 boxes of pictures and papers, etc and separated them in to 5 other boxes. Each box is for a different scrapbook. We still have so many boxes to go through and separate out. It's amazing how much stuff there is! A few more weeks (no, really!) of sorting, then we get to organize each box into a time line.
Honestly scrapbooking is not my thing; but I am looking forward to spending time with my mom and learning more about my family. Not to mention, she can occassionally assist me with my piano, so it's kind of a win-win situation. I'm really excited to continue this project - even if I don't find the actual activity all that thrilling.
There are so many skills that I will be able to develop while doingt his project. Patience comes first to mind. I am not a very patient person, but working on something that overal doesn't light my fire will definitely help me practice this. This will also help boost my creativity and organizational skills. All three of these skills will help me no matter what I do in life. I've quickly discovered that volunteering isn't just about improving another person's life; it's about improving yourself as well.
What projects do you do that increase your skills? And please share any scrapbooking tips/ideas in the comments too!
I've decided that for now I will use the time I'm helping my mom as my volunteer time. Additionally, once this project is over, I'll already have this time carved out of my schedule. Transitioning from one project (helping my mom) to another (the hospital) will be pretty seamless - time wise at least.
So far we have been through 3 boxes of pictures and papers, etc and separated them in to 5 other boxes. Each box is for a different scrapbook. We still have so many boxes to go through and separate out. It's amazing how much stuff there is! A few more weeks (no, really!) of sorting, then we get to organize each box into a time line.
Honestly scrapbooking is not my thing; but I am looking forward to spending time with my mom and learning more about my family. Not to mention, she can occassionally assist me with my piano, so it's kind of a win-win situation. I'm really excited to continue this project - even if I don't find the actual activity all that thrilling.
There are so many skills that I will be able to develop while doingt his project. Patience comes first to mind. I am not a very patient person, but working on something that overal doesn't light my fire will definitely help me practice this. This will also help boost my creativity and organizational skills. All three of these skills will help me no matter what I do in life. I've quickly discovered that volunteering isn't just about improving another person's life; it's about improving yourself as well.
What projects do you do that increase your skills? And please share any scrapbooking tips/ideas in the comments too!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Feeling Productive
Today was a giant leap forward for me. I woke up earlier than normal and instead of rolling over and going back to sleep like I usually do, I stayed up. I ate a little bit of breakfast, got on the treadmill for 30 minutes (working towards Destination #2 - being healthy and active), took out all the trash in the house (working towards Destination #3 - being a better spouse), got ready for the day, and went to the music store to pick up a D string for my violin (working towards Destination #1 - gathering tools to become a better musician) before coming to work.
Accomplishing these things has really given me a boost today. I feel more productive overall, have been more productive at work, have been in a better mood and I know that all of these small steps are getting me closer to the person I want to be.
I hope that you have also been able to revel in your successes (whether they be big or small) today!
Accomplishing these things has really given me a boost today. I feel more productive overall, have been more productive at work, have been in a better mood and I know that all of these small steps are getting me closer to the person I want to be.
I hope that you have also been able to revel in your successes (whether they be big or small) today!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Making A Plan
Now that I have my destination chosen and my paths laid out for me, I need to make a plan so I can continually move forward.
To become a better musician I will need to practice each instrument 30 minutes a day, learn music theory and find resources to help teach me. I will be teaching myself how to play these instruments in the beginning, so focusing on fundamentals, theory and technique will be important. There are people in my life that play each instrument, so I can go to them for help so long as I don't abuse their generosity.
To be healthy and active I need to devote a minimum of 30 minutes a day, 6 days a week to exercise. Proper form and technique are very important so I do not injure myself. There are a plethora of resources on the internet that can be used to teach myself the right way to exercise.
In addition to exercise, if I want to be truly healthy, I need to eat well. Eating more fruits and vegetables is a great way to increase nutrition without adding a ton of calories. Also, I can make healthy substitutions to my daily meals. For example, I can replace ground beef with ground turkey. This is possible with almost any recipe, and I don't sacrifice flavor. (Please consult a physician before embarking on any exercise and/or dietary changes.)
Lastly, to be more giving of myself. I said before I don't know where I want to volunteer just yet. Step number 1 is to write a list of organizations that I would like to give my time to. Step number 2 is to research these organizations and find out what volunteer opportunities they have available. If their needs meet my needs and capabilities I can then get a schedule and start.
As for being a better spouse, the first thing I think I should do is increase the frequency of housekeeping tasks when our schedules keep us apart so that when we are together we can focus on each other and not the dishes in the sink.
If you are in a situation where you are unable to finance lessons or tutors, etc to help you reach your goals, seek out your social network. Perhaps you know someone that is talented in the area you are working on that would be willing to help you, or that would be willing to trade their talents and expertise for yours. For example, if you are interested in writing perhaps you have a friend that is a writer or a teacher and could help edit and give pointers, in exchange for you helping them with a website, planting a garden or painting their fence.
Please share what plans and ideas you have in the comments. We can all learn from each other!
To become a better musician I will need to practice each instrument 30 minutes a day, learn music theory and find resources to help teach me. I will be teaching myself how to play these instruments in the beginning, so focusing on fundamentals, theory and technique will be important. There are people in my life that play each instrument, so I can go to them for help so long as I don't abuse their generosity.
To be healthy and active I need to devote a minimum of 30 minutes a day, 6 days a week to exercise. Proper form and technique are very important so I do not injure myself. There are a plethora of resources on the internet that can be used to teach myself the right way to exercise.
In addition to exercise, if I want to be truly healthy, I need to eat well. Eating more fruits and vegetables is a great way to increase nutrition without adding a ton of calories. Also, I can make healthy substitutions to my daily meals. For example, I can replace ground beef with ground turkey. This is possible with almost any recipe, and I don't sacrifice flavor. (Please consult a physician before embarking on any exercise and/or dietary changes.)
Lastly, to be more giving of myself. I said before I don't know where I want to volunteer just yet. Step number 1 is to write a list of organizations that I would like to give my time to. Step number 2 is to research these organizations and find out what volunteer opportunities they have available. If their needs meet my needs and capabilities I can then get a schedule and start.
As for being a better spouse, the first thing I think I should do is increase the frequency of housekeeping tasks when our schedules keep us apart so that when we are together we can focus on each other and not the dishes in the sink.
If you are in a situation where you are unable to finance lessons or tutors, etc to help you reach your goals, seek out your social network. Perhaps you know someone that is talented in the area you are working on that would be willing to help you, or that would be willing to trade their talents and expertise for yours. For example, if you are interested in writing perhaps you have a friend that is a writer or a teacher and could help edit and give pointers, in exchange for you helping them with a website, planting a garden or painting their fence.
Please share what plans and ideas you have in the comments. We can all learn from each other!
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Defining the Path: Destination 3
Destination #3: Be More Giving Of Myself
- I want to volunteer. I honestly don't know where I want to volunteer yet. There are a lot of charities and places that interest me. What I need to do here is find out what would be the best fit for me. I would love to volunteer in every organization that I found worthwhile, but there isn't enough time in my life. My goal is to start slow; write a list of pros and cons; pick the organization that best fits my needs and capabilities, and provides me the the most fulfillment; then volunteer four hours a week.
- I want to be a better spouse. I tell my husband that I love him everyday, but there is so much more I could do for him. I want to listen to him more, talk to him more often and spend more time being with him. He works a lot and I'd love to spend his off hours relaxing and having fun with him instead of cleaning the house or giving him a huge "Honey-Do" List, or running errands.
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